Sneaky Peaky to the Introduction
Imagine if everyone came with a “Care Label”. Just like the nifty suit you wear to the office, your fav’ footy team kit or the brand new (copy)Kate, Alexander McQueen outfit you’d die to own. Everyone would proudly display their label giving strict care instructions to hand-wash with a soft cloth, dry-thoroughly, lay flat, polish with care, etc.
Wouldn’t that make life SO much easier? We could just check out the label, see if we’re up to following the instructions, and of course that they fit with our own, and hey-hoe away we go.
Well, the good news is WE DO and this guide is intended to explain those care instructions so you can pep up your skills where appropriate and put a little sparkle back into your love life.
What is a Care Label?
So, you have a Care Label and on it there are various care instructions that anyone who interacts with you needs to be aware of.
You let people into your life in varying degrees by checking them off against the care instructions on your and their Care Labels.
The good news is everyone’s Care Label has similar care instructions. Easy right? Wrong! Here’s where the difficulties start to arise.
Each of our Care Labels is different. Why? Because life would be way too easy otherwise!
This guide is intended to take a light-hearted look at the characteristics of the most common care instructions that feature on our Care Labels. The idea being, that with a greater understanding of your own care instructions and those of your partner, or the people around you, you can improve relationships in every area of your life.
The care instructions on each of our Care Labels can appear in any order and quantity because they’re a bit of a pick and mix selection. Some care instructions may be so important to a particular individual they’ll get top billing while, for others, they won’t even make the label.
This disparity is particularly marked between men’s and women’s Care Labels with each of the sexes tending to feature a pretty similar selection of instructions. Don’t be fooled into thinking the Gods of Love have been kind to you though, within a group of women there will be vastly differing Care Labels, as there will within a group of men.
Starting with perhaps one of the most obvious, many men may well have “Lay Flat & Shag Often” or “Wash & Brush Up with Care” at the top of their label. This is because regular sex and/or a bit of a looker on their arm often rate highly with men. For women however, these care instructions may be obscured on the back somewhere, simply because they aren’t as important to them.
Conversely, many women may blatantly display “Provider Required” or “Handle with Care & Affection”, but similarly, these care instructions may not even make the label for men who tend to be more practical creatures – and I don’t mean this is a bad way! I simply mean that women sometimes tend to make things SO much more complicated.
It’s worth pointing out at this point, that there are some pretty highly sexed women out there. For them, the typically “male” care instruction of “Lay Flat & Shag Often” is likely to feature high up on their Care Label too.
Being aware of your own Care Label, making it legible to others and reading (and understanding) the Care Label of your partner or potential partner, requires polished love life skills.
When we date, we look at potential partners and make judgements; judgements as to that person’s ability – or lack thereof – to carry out the care instructions printed on our Care Label.
As a potential partner for that person, we are also being read to determine if we are capable of carrying out their care instructions.
When both sides believe the other will follow their care instructions to an acceptable level, we take the relationship further.
Ahh bliss! Loads of sex. Plenty of affection. Admiration abounds. Best feet are put forward. Honesty is there (and if it’s not we’re happily oblivious because we’re not being honest with ourselves)! Life’s just bloody great. And then…
As relationships develop, couples start living together, maybe marry and have a dog, cat, couple of canaries, the odd goldfish and then possibly children.
Over time, just like the Care Labels in your favourite clothes fade in the wash or get snipped off for being irritating or too faffy, the care instructions on our Care Labels begin to fade for ourselves and our partners. We become bogged down in earning money, raising kids, keeping hold of jobs, etc.
Eventually, we begin to neglect the care instructions a little, if not completely.
Just as we start to risk hand-washing the dry-clean only trousers, we start to risk:
- Not going to the game with our man;
- Not admiring his strength when he opens that stubborn jar;
- Not giving our woman time to talk or an affectionate cuddle and kiss when we get in from work; or even – God forbid!
- Having sex less often!
If we’re not careful, it can eventually arrive at a point where we metaphorically snip the Care Label off all together by becoming oblivious to it. At this point the relationship is probably really floundering and real threats of separation, divorce and/or affairs could easily loom.
Being aware of the care instructions on your partner’s Care Label and making sure you continue following them is the key to improving your love life.
If you want to improve any kind of relationship, you need to take time to reacquaint yourself with your Care Label and those of the important people around you.
The next few chapters will delve more deeply into the murky depths of each of the care instructions. They’ll explain things further to help you with identifying specific instructions and provide valuable hints as to what just might be on your partner’s Care Label that you’ve been neglecting.
Once you’ve been through the chapters and worked out what’s on your partner’s Care Label, you can start to make a real, conscious effort to begin following those care instructions again – as you most likely did at the very start of your relationship.